recent spate of events got me thinking. ahgong's health is one major thing im worried about. he doesnt seem to be reacting very well to his heart medication nowadays. the way he coughs makes my heart ache everytime i hear it. im praying so hard to God everyday. he's the last remaining one of my grandparents. please dont take him away from me. the last time you took away my grandma, i cried like hell. i hated God for taking her away from all of us. i hated seeing ahgong so sad, hated seeing everyone around me quarrel and get into arguments because we lost her. Lord, i beg of You. you took her away, so leave him with me. he's the head of our family. i cant imagine what we would be like if he wasnt there. he's always the reason that we are able to gather together. if he isnt there, it would feel so ominously empty. it just doesnt feel right. so i pray Lord, leave him here with us. he has to see me get married, has to see my child, hold my child and see my child grow everyday.

i didnt realise, the potential one month could have. everything's changed. but nevertheless, i will persevere on, because you are definitely worth the wait.