i saw your message. dont say sorry to me. im the one who's supposed to say that. dont feel regretful. cos if you didnt do that, we wouldnt be what we were today. maybe you were right. the change from secondary school to a polytechnic, made me learn loads of new stufs. ive learnt to care for people, to slow down and listen more to others opinions.. ive learnt that im not the only one who deserves a praise. the world is big, and there are others out there far better than me. for me, ive learnt it the hard way. i dont think you did anything wrong thou. if you did, i cant imagine what situation we'd be in now. and trust me, i think its going to be much worse. i thank you for accepting and tolerating all my nonsense and wilfullness all these years, sincerely from my heart. really a wonder you did since i couldnt even tolerate myself when looking back. you're a great person and im just not good enough. dont be too hard on yourself. i admit i hated you once, for your indecisiveness, for your insensitivity and for the way you treated me. but seriously, i was just plainly being a child and throwing some tantrums just cos things weren't going the way i wanted it to be. im sorry. but for now, studies are the only thing i want to concentrate on, and nothing else. we will only get better, not worse. no matter what you are still my best beloved rubbish! (:

a relationship of 4 years wont falter like that.
i wont let it.
this, i promise.

bon voyage.


how great. 3 out of 4 papers screwed. was stupid enough to do all 3 essay questions for ob when i only had to do 2. omg. WTH. thats like, 20marks gone. cos i didnt know how to do the second question. and knowing their pattern, they're going to accept the first 2 and leave out the 3rd one which im damn confident. this sucks, big time. busstats today was another goner. i got my formulas right, but i subbed the wrong values in. i was supposed to use sample mean to estimate population mean but i used STANDARD DEVIATION. wthomg. =/ i really feel so stupid sometimes. these are like, stupid marks lost ok. like that, 40marks gone alr. T.T to think i even woke up specially at 4 to study for that. hahaha. i even studied till i vomited la! mama says its 'cos im not having enough sleep. lol. im still having a fever. =/

damn stupid.

at least macro wasnt sucha disappointment. BUT, i got my formula for labour force participation rate wrong. damn. 4marks gone. there goes my hope of a Z. ):


on a happier note, tmr's FA. woots. after that, IM A FREE EASY AND PEASY! ((: actually not quite.. seeing im like, most prolly gonna have to retake supp paper for MBS.. not that free afterall eh? damn why cant we just burn the whole buncha books up. its seriously getting more and more of an eyesore alr. getting sore eyes just by looking at them. tsktsk. burn&drink. the ultimate way to get your Z. (:


freaking irritating. MSN had available updates, i installed them. now its causing me problems. firstly, i couldnt sign in. didnt have any problems to repair too. almost wanted to delete the whole freaking messenger. hahah. went to the 'uninstall' programs there, and lucky lucky me. i found the REPAIR function. lol. so for now, my messenger works. BUT, i cant sign into my hotmail. and many other freaking things too. the colour scheme aint nice anymore. mine was supposed to be hotpink. now the hotpink somehow turned into some blood-red colour. dont believe i show u.


SEE! uber ugly lah! thats blood red not hotpink. i shouldnt have downloaded the new version. T.T but i like the colour scheme for the conversations though.



compare the colours, you see the difference. oh and i VERY CONVENIENTLY recorded evidences also. hahah. SEE! he still say nv bully me. stupid cousin. pfft. haha.


ALRIGHTS. im kinda supposed to be currently studying for fa sooo.. yeaa. no mood to BUT! hahah. yea la. going alr. BYEBYE!


[10.07pm]


ok ive decided. that i wont argue. really childish if i did so. its just a freaking wallpaper. the same theory as coming to blows over curry. same genre. hahaha. i mean, what i said was 'cos i was damn angry. cooling down and thinking, ive decided that its really nothing. haha.

coming back to mbs, it sucked. totally. screwed up the whole thing. damn sad can ): really feel like crying alr. I DONT WANT SUP PAPER! its a freaking gpa of 1 only even if i ace that. stupid. it spoilt everything. really feel like BURNING the whole paper. yes lets do it the traditional way. BURN&DRINK.


WOOHOO!!

our proposal got approved, WITHOUT BEING SENT BACK EVEN ONCE. yeaaa. damn happy :D so happy that im not in the mood to study anymore. HAHAHA. okok. excuses. i know. i seriously still dont have the feeling of having an exam tmr. reality hasnt quite struck me yet. darn. ive now completed, 5 chapts of MBS alr. 7 more to go, to be finished by today. hohoho. i get the feeling i'l be deadd. its like, just hope i can scrape through this. thats also another reason why i wanted to do well for the projects. hahahaha. its supposed to help pull my grades up.

righty righty right. i think ive gotta eat. then get back to studying soooonn. (: im really starting to worry for my results alr =/ byebye!

[11.34am]

just saw some bloody fucking thing. im sorry. but im damn angry. like whats her bloody fucking problem. it was hx who told me it was similar, that i went to see. dont fucking accuse people before you even get your facts right. neither do i believe in such things but it happened so fuck off bitch. and i seriously dont know whats your fucking problem man. dont come using these words when you dont even know.

OK i apologise for scolding all that. but seriously. its super childish for you to be doing that. please grow up.


suddenly reminded of the other time i danced salsa with luke for razmatazz concert. yes i know. random. lol. just kinda thought about that when i was looking at huixin's frenster. she&eugeneng were in too. and i realised i know quite a number of people with same names.

eugeneng. eugenegoh. eugenelim.
joelang. joelkwa.
johngoh. jonathantan- cousin. jonathantan- tp.jonathan(senior. duno surname)
alexng. alexander(alex for short)
joannechia. joanne(phs)
phebe. phoebe.

actually i think theres still somemore. but my mind kinda blanked out suddenly so, yea. haha. about there la.

damn BORING. stupid mbs is killing me. our class got some tips from our tchr the other time. we were sooo happy. in the end we realised the tips were for the supp and not main paper. good thing? i havent started studying that part she gave us tips on yet. bad thing? TIPS ARE GONE! T.T uber sad ): sighs.

time now's 4.25pm. 12chaptsof mbs to go. 3chapts done, 9chapts to go. OUT OF THE 3 CHAPTS DONE, 2chapts are like, floating somewhere in my head. cant really rmb. 1chapt is kinda vague. sighs. my processer speed's kinda slow now. i think its cos of memory overload. in need of extra ram. please buy me one (:

KAY. i think like, the last chapt is breaking apart already. mid-floating somewhere in my brain. after friday's mbs is monday's ob. omg thats worse. 13chapts plus more points to memorise T.T eugene please go away. u will not be entertained on sat. hahaha.

righttto. outta here. oh and ive recieved my retainers alr. sucks. lol. im beginning to talk like alex alr =/ HAHAHA. no offences but,yea. hahaha. my mum's been like, poking fun at the way i talk ever since ive got them =.= okok. study. BYEBYE! (:

[4.36pm]


I Swear
I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
and I swear like the shadow that's by your side

I see the questions in your eyes
I know what's weighing on your mind
You can be sure I know my part
Cause I stand beside you through the years
You'll only cry those happy tears
And though I make mistakes
I'll never break your heart

And I swear by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there
I swear like the shadow that's by your side I'll be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear

I'll give you every thing I can
I'll build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when (and when) just the two of us are there
You won't have to ask if I still care
Cause as the time turns the page
My love won't age at all

And I swear (I swear) by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there (I'll be there)
I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there (I'll be there)

For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear

And I swear (I swear) by the moon
And the stars in the sky I'll be there (I'll be there)
I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there (I'll be there)

For better or worse (better or worse)
Till death do us part I'll love you
With every single beat of my heart
I swear I swear I swear

went to celebrate yongde's first birthday ytd. he's uber cute i tell you (: took photos, but wont upload them yet. havent got the time. i think im being quite unproductive these days. haha! im v scared for my results, but i aint got the motivation to study. T.T someone please help me.

went to get korkor's bday present the other day. my gawd. cant believe i actually bought that for him. damn. im uber broke now. ): i need a job. hahaha. xt! please tell your manager i need that job ASAP. lolol. aunt mentioned about bring me to korea during the hols ytd. mm. duno. might consider. shall see how first.

KAY. shall stop here. ive gotta continue studying ): and eugenelimkaisheng owes me a present and a treat (: THANKYOU COUSIN! rmb, you shall be a GENTLEman. :D

when a guy is very close with a group of girls, others say he is a flirt.
when a girl is very close with a group of guys, others say she is a bitch.
when a guy and a girl are very close together, others say they are a couple

how very true. i rmb sw said before that i believed in platnoic relationships deeply. didnt know the meaning at first. now that i know, i agree, fully (:

[1.56pm]


alrights. i got back my prj results for MBS alr. it was a freaking B+. wth. i dont see why i cant get an A . craps. she said she marked us down cos the other classes scored badly. DAMN SAD CAN! ): okok. now for an update of all my results.

prj:
MBS - B+
OB - A
FA - A
Macro - A

overall:
MBS - A
OB - B+
FA - A
Macro - A
BusStats - B+

thats a freaking gpa of 3.8. wth. if u'd add my 1st sem's horrible results, and not to mention the terrible psycho, its going to drop to a incorrigible score of about 3 only. !!!!!!!!!! i cant imagine. PLUS, with main exams, its going to go down till where i cant even bear to think about it.. sighs. im superrr not in the mood to study nowadays. KAY! im going to study with shar tmr, and sw on sunday. must remind myself to focus. this is going to be tough. 13chapts of OB, 12chapts of MBS to memorise. whole book of busstats and macro to practice from scratch. even MORE practice to be done for FA. T.T someone please help me. im going to be buried by all my thoughts already. hahaha.

but ho, even though i say all that, i still feel kinda relaxed now. haha! i know i have alot of things to complete, but im just not in the mood to start yet thou.. prolly officially start only TMR. how sad. lol. got a feeling i wont have enough time..but yea. we'l see how it goes. dont think i'l be going online that often alr. since i'l be studying, hopefully. kays! stop here. sleepy. meeting ally at 930am tmr. mygawd. to think its a saturday. okok. BYEBYE!

[11.01pm]


i went into the lift this morning. saw my neighbour. her boyfriend was going overseas so they cant spend valentines tgt tmr. then when we walked outta the lift, saw her boyfriend holding this BIG BUNCH of roses on his hand, tgt with a really big bear bear. SO SWEET!! he couldnt make it tmr so he was gonna spend it in advance today with her. damn damn sweet. hahaha. but i think, if wait at her school there even sweeter. ok random. lol. but the bear was uber cute i tell u. damn big and cuddly. hahaha. (:

tmr's valentines! everyone's in sucha lovey dovey mood. haha. andand! its xinying's birthday tmr. I NEVER FORGET HO!! im so nice right :D

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY XY!!
18yrs old le. grow up ho! hahaha. okok. i shall be nice. i wish u can grow taller this year. LOL (:
i smsed her happy birthday. this was the reply i got:

Haha thanks sweet! So honoured you still rmb me in that pea brain of yours! Missed you truckloads too pls! You cuckoo, i'll be waiting fr your call aft exams!

hahaha. so annoying! i was so nice to still rmb to wish her happy bday and what i got back was pea brain and cuckoo. whhhaaattt?! hahaha. i was bickering with her online. soo nice. kinda reminds me of the days we used to quarrel with each other ((:

alrights! im supposed to start on my revision alr. but i think, i dont have the mood. lol. thou shalt start after dinner. this i promise myself. exams are like, next friday. OMGWTH. im like, outta time here. hello~ time to wake up.! ok. i shall go sleep now. then when i wake up later, i'l be in the mood for studying (: BYEBYE!

happy valentines in advance again! (:

[5.39pm]

today, was kinda boring. hahaha. after school went out with geez, alex and scott. went Peninsular Plaza. omg. i seriously didnt know that it was located in cityhall. always thought it was in little india or whatever. =/ guess i need to go out more often. lol. went there cos scott needed some pics for his CDS prj, and alex needed a watch. and i think, if you all wanna get a watch, its a good place to go. lol. 40% leh. omg. mai siao. and theres all sortsa brands there. casio and seigo (or however u spell. forgot alr.) not bad. quite cheap.

walked around..then settled at kfc for dinner. scott left aft that and we continued shopping. hahaha. alex was determined to get a top. spent quite some time shopping around. in the end, guozhi bought a top and alex bought a cap. HAHA. i cant believe i was haggling the prices for them man. the original shirt outside was 199. haggled and he sold to us at 45 (: damn cheap alr lah. considering its real one. haha. not bad not bad. my skills are improving.

ALRIGHTS. i was supposed to start studying today alr. and i didnt!! omg. im soooo deadd. =x its 12.21am now btw. so nice. hahaha. kays! blog another day. byebye!

[12.21am]





HAHA. just won like, around 30plus at mahjong. kena scolded. cos i played with my yeye, aunt and older cousin. PLUS, im on homeground, soo..yeaa. hahah. abit paiseh also. i think i have really good luck today. after mahjong went to play blackjack and i won another 10plus. LOL. considering i played like, 20c per bid, its quite alot u know. boh pian cant play too big. cos got kiddys there. oldest pri 3 leh. then my cousin's bf be banker. hehe. most of my revenue came from him (: but i think i used up all my luck alr. after my relatives all went back i played blackjack again with papa&mama. omg. lost all i had. hahaha. but i only used $4plus to play soo..yea. not so bad. hahaha. mama won eth. omg. lol. but alright lah. kai xin jiu hao. least i still won quite abit :D

you might think im having pms. i myself think im having pms. get these moodswings these days. dont even know why. dont like the feeling. its like, when ure playing happily, suddenly u get really moody and feel like crying. that feeling..duno how to describe. but i get it really often these days. not that im particularly upset or whatever. its just a random feeling of wanting to cry. omg. i think im too stressed alr. lol. im damn worried for bus stats. ): after tmr, revision lecture starts. then, study week, then exams. OMG. seriously. i can die for you to seeeee. =/ im like, daaaaamn worried for my results. my present results are like, !#$@#%$@%$. sighs. all i can think of are exams exams and more exams these few days. ): really hope i wont screw it up. phobia alr. screwed up psycho. my gpa's gonna go down DOWN DOWN.

alrights! i'l blog till here for now. i'l need to work on homework sooon.. spent like, 1hr plus just doing the first qn the other day. omg. i think i might need the whole day to finish it tmr. *gulps* ok shall go rest now. byebye! (:

[12.04am]


HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!! (:

yeapyeap. i kinda, dont really have the excited mode yet. seriously. it just feels like a sat/sun where i dont have to go to school. difference is there's angpow to take and goodies to eat :D

oh and, they're not coming to my hse tmr alr. (: yeaa. happy in a sense that papa wont be so busy needing to serve them and eth. sad in a sense that im feeling guilty. cos promised that they can come in the end they cant. haha. boh pian. cos i thought only 4-5 ppl coming. in the end arnd 7plus ppl. omg. too many la. relatives are also coming my hse soo.. abit too many ppl. haha. yeaa. if they come they'l just be stuck in my room n eth, which is damn boring. lol. sorry. dont even think i'd be joining them tmr to go others hse thou. kinda tired. and relatives coming my hse too.. mm. shall see again.

won quite abit at blackjack just now :D now papa's like, bugging all of us to play bridge with him. hahaha. i suggested mahjong so can play money. and he wanted bridge play money. LOL. thats like, so retarded. so we decided on 20c per card. kinda pathetic but, yea. haha. ok off to play now. byebye.

wishing you all recieve loadsa angpows! (:

[10.28pm]


T.T

im going to miss my braces. hahaha. took it out alr. now waiting for retainers, which is 2weeks later. omg. my teeth are going to be naked for 2weeks. please wear some clothes. lol. damn. i think, braces are nicer. it just looks soooo wierd. T.T

currently debating whether or not to go to school later. theres only ob lecture, so its abit no point. but! ob leh. i think best is if i go. BUT! i feel so wierd.. hahah. yes i know im fickle minded. not the first day u know me anyways. (:

andand! we're going each other's hse for cny. omg. my house's the last stop. hahah. im like, trying my best to pray that papa and mama wont be home, which is like, close to impossible.. lol. ive gotta source for eating places too. since they'l be eating dinner here. ahwells. but sounds like fun thou. only thing im hoping is i can shut the room door and prevent them from coming. BUT! seeing papa, he'd make me clean it up ): we shall see.

[10.49am]


ahhh. its 1.11am now. hahaha. i seem to see this number really often these days. a really nice coincidence thou (: hehe.

OK! ive finally settled my new year clothings. went out shopping with mama tdy. ahh. bought a few tops. whats left are just shoes and bottoms. nth much actually. oh and! our sub comm interview was a total success!! and our meeting on saturday wasnt that bad either. only an overrun of arnd an hour, which we predicted. its a real morale booster for us. way to go! :D

things are happening. in a good way now. i think, once we past this last hurdle, everything will fall nicely into place by itself. jiayouus (:

carol is a happy happy girl (:

[1.32am]